Christmas is Upon Us

      This is the time of year to remember what we are thankful for and a time of reflection. It is easy to list the things that I am thankful for. I am thankful for the best husband and our beautiful kids. I am thankful for our families and for time spent together. I have something wonderful to add to my thankful list ... I am sooooo thankful to find out that my lump is not cancer. I was really worried about it but the Dr. that I had to see in Calgary said it is just an angiolipoma and that there is no need to worry about it and no need to operate unless something changes. Such a relief. Super nice to have that ton of worry lifted from my shoulders right before Christmas and I was so happy that I did not have to share anything but good news with my family for the holiday season. They were all pretty worried about me so I know someone loves me. :) I have been reflecting on relationships I have and it seems pretty obvious to me lately who I really matter to and who maybe I should not worry so much about myself. I suppose it is soon time to think about resolutions and ways to make my life a little more stress free. Keeping it short and sweet tonight... Merry Christmas to you all. May love, health and happiness be with you throughout the following year.

A While

Well it's been a while since I visited here. I have been meaning to write but I never quite know what to say. I am not the best writer and I always ramble on. I guess because sometimes it is just difficult to know how to properly put my thoughts and feelings into words. My last post was about me feeling relieved. As I said before I was very scared about seeing the doctor. My last test result that I was waiting for also came back good so that was a relief but ... he was quite concerned about the lump that I have on my leg. So since then I have had an ultrasound and a MRI done to see what they could find out about that and they still don't know much. As far as we know it is an angiolipoma which is a fatty deposit that has blood flow but there is a slim chance that it could be a liposarcoma. In that case it would mean cancer so I will be having surgery sometime in the near future to remove the lump so that they can test it and we will hope for the best possible outcome. I am trying not to worry about it too much but it is super hard. I will be back sooner rather than later and will try to keep this blog a little more up to date.

Feeling a Bit Relieved

     So I finally got brave and went to the Dr. for a check up. Big step for me as I am so scared of bad news seeing how there has been so much cancer discovered in our family in the last couple years. All of my blood tests and everything else so far has come back good news. So I am feeling relieved and less stressed. I am so thankful for these good results.
     It is almost time for our trip and though I am a little nervous, I am so super excited. First time seeing our new niece, first time flying for J, getting to see Niagara Falls with J :),  and so excited to be there when one of my best friends says "I do". It is going to be a crazy busy couple of weeks but I am so looking forward to it.
     At home we are still getting settled. Today I rearranged our living room and my dad had to give me a hard time about that but I am really liking the change. There are still things that we need to find but nothing pressing and we are all so thankful to be in this wonderful house. It is cozy and the perfect size for our family. Another perk of living here is that we are little closer to the kids school and they are enjoying walking to and from school each day. I think it makes them feel a bit more mature. They are growing up so quickly. Sometimes I just want to freeze time or maybe even turn it back for a little bit. Life seemed a little less complicated when they were small. LOL Guess I better "buck up" before the teen years hit.

It's Been A While

     The kids have just gone to bed and it is surprisingly quiet, well for the moment anyway. We are a little bit more settled than we were the last time I wrote. We got the birthday parties out of the way and they went well so that was good. J's parents came for a visit on the weekend and that went really well too although I would have to say I wish the visit had been just a bit longer. The kids were super sad to see them go but in less than a month they will all get to spend a lot of quality time together. Definitely looking forward to summer holidays. The next month is going to be a busy one with lots of field trips and final exams for the kids and appointments. I have a couple nail appointment scheduled so I will be feeling all fancy for the big wedding. I have also made an appointment to see the Dr. which is something I should have done long, long ago and of course I waited until I was in pain to make the appointment. I am not sure why I am so scared of Dr's but I do know that I am terrified of bad news. My Aunt that just passed away was really good about going to the Dr but in the end they didn't catch the cancer soon enough anyway. In February I also had a Great Aunt and a Great Uncle that were diagnosed with cancer. I am afraid of that kind of bad news. I am fairly sure my pain is from kidney stones. Not fun but survivable. Guess we will find out more next month.

All Settled?

All settled? No, not quite yet but it is nice to finally be all moved and have everything in the one house. The kids are each in their own rooms and it is a fair bit more peaceful at bedtime. We had a birthday party for B on the weekend so a lot of stuff that was still waiting to be put away found its way up to our bedroom and there it sits waiting for us to deal with it. Oh well the kids have something that more or less resembles a playroom and the birthday party went really well. After B's party we had a family birthday party for B and G. Everyone was able to make it and it was nice having everyone over and there was plenty of room for everyone so that was nice. It is late and I am rambling a bit but I do that often. Let's see what else is new .... My sister K is engaged! It is good news that everyone saw coming :) Also since I last wrote our family is a little bigger. J's brother and his wife had their little spring tulip and she is the cutest little thing ever! I can hardly wait to meet her. I really wish we lived closer so that we could go see her right now! As always life seems chaotic and I am feeling like right now I just need to remember to breathe!

Moving Day

Well I have been busy getting ready for our move and I am sooo tired but it will all be worth the hard work in the end. We took down the wall paper in the living room and bathroom. I hate wall paper! I hope I don't have to take wall paper down again any time soon. I have painted M's room and it looks really great. I am almost done painting the living room and dining room (just 1 more coat should do it). Then I have to get at B's room so that it will be all ready for her birthday. We are going to paint her room bright green and then accessorize with bright girly colors. I am excited and I hope she likes it. We have moved a fair bit of stuff already and then I look around and wonder how the heck we have so much stuff. There will definitely be downsizing and at least 1 yard sale this summer! Only one week till we get everything moved into the other place. Then hopefully I can relax a little. This going back and forth, trying to get stuff done has been very tiring and both places end up looking kind of crappy. I am sure before long both places will look great!

Waiting ...

     We met with the new landlord and got papers signed. He is not too sure how long the small jobs he has to complete will take so he didn't want to give us a middle of the month date so we signed for the beginning of May. We will be able to be in and out throughout the month of April so we can slowly start to move boxes in. Also this way we should be able to get a start on taking down the awful wall paper and also get M's room all painted before the landlord puts laminate in. April feels like it is taking forever to get here and I am sure it will feel like it will take forever to pass. We are so excited to move, I think even the kids are wanting to start counting down the days. We got a smoking hot deal on some new furniture and I can't wait to see how nice it will all look in the new place.

People!

     You know what I hate - when people open their mouths and say hurtful stuff just for the sake of saying it. J and I recently got some new furniture because it was all on sale for a really great price. We have been looking for a long time as the stuff we had was really old hand me down stuff that was getting uncomfortable and falling apart. Anyway I was visiting with some family and we were talking about what is new and so I mentioned that we had gotten a really great deal on a new dining room set. Well this person says it must be nice to have a Dad that will buy you anything you want, just because you want it. What am I supposed to say? She just assumed that Dad bought it for us but we used money that we saved up to buy our set. Also if my Dad or anyone wants to help us out or gift us with something why should anyone be so negative about it? I am feeling really awful now and I just kind of want to get rid of everything we have (talk about overreacting) but really I don't want that person to come over for a visit because with them in my house I know I will just feel guilty about anything nice that we have.

A Busy Month

     This month is going to be crazy! On top of moving it sounds like I may be spending a bunch of time at the dentist office. I got called in yesterday for a cleaning and since it has been so long since my last cleaning she was unable to finish my cleaning in the time that was allotted so I have to go back next week. Hopefully I can stay on top of that a bit better and it won't be so long and painful next time. Also it appears that M has a cavity so he has an appointment in a week and a half. I am hoping that goes well.

     Packing has started and soon our house will be a maze of boxes. I feel a little more relieved with each box that gets packed and with each cupboard, drawer or shelf that is bare. Over the last couple days I have taken down each of the light fixtures that we put in this place when we first moved in.  It is hard to change out light fixtures when you are short and only have a step stool. Yes I am sore but I am glad that I got that out of the way. Soon I am going to take down all the pictures on the walls so that the painful task of wall washing can begin. I think I am looking forward to cleaning the tops of the cupboards the least. It is scary up there! The only nice thing about cleaning up there is that it is easy to tell where you have already cleaned. I can't wait till this is all done and we are all settled in the new place. I hope we are able to stay there happily for a number of years instead of what seems to have become the norm which is 2 - 3 years in each place.

      Also to keep me busy this month - I get to decorate a birthday cake for my nephew. He liked the cake that I made for my Dad so much that he decided he wants one just like it. So I get to make another John Deere cake. I hope it goes a little more quickly since I have done it before but we will see. Oh well - I am rambling again and it is time for lunch. So ttfn and hope you have a good day.

More Room

     So we just got news that we have a new place to live. It will be great for us! It costs a little more than what we are paying right now but there is soooo much more usuable space. There are 4 bedrooms, an office, 2 living room areas and 2 bathrooms. I am super excited, I just wish moving were a little easier. It would be nice if you could just snap your fingers and everything would move from one house to the other but on the upside I am hoping this is move is our last for a long, long time. It is one that we won't easily outgrow since each of the kids will have their own bedrooms and a good place for them to play and watch kids movies. Everything is nice and open so it will be really nice for birthday parties, get togethers and holidays. Yup - I am EXCITED!!!

February

     Seriously has almost another month gone on by? This has been a rough month with two deaths within our families and more cancer showing up on my side of the family. The month started with the passing of my Great-Aunty Eva. She was a wonderful and kind woman that I am sad to say I never got to know very well. Distance can be a horrible thing. Then came the news that my one of my other Great-Aunts has been diagnosed with rectal cancer. Then came the news that J's cousins husband had a massive heart attack. We hoped for the best but the worst happened and now he too is gone. I never got to meet him but I have heard what a great guy he was. My heart breaks for the amount of loss J's cousin has gone through, first losing her daughter to cancer and then the loss of her husband. The same night that we heard of his passing we learned that my Great-Uncle is in the hospital and has been diagnosed with liver cancer. I am in a negative place right now with all this bad news. I am not sure how to best deal with any of it other than take things one day at a time. I sure wish they would find a cure for cancer.
     I try to remember not all about life is hard and that though it isn't always easy, life is definitely always worth living. All the wonderful small things make it worth it. I am thankful for a husband and family that love me and I am so thankful for the wonderful friends that surround me. 

Exciting Things To Come

     So another thing to add to the list of exciting things to come in 2012 - A WEDDING! One of my dearest friends called the other day to say that she is finally getting married. I am very excited for her and her wonderful fiance. They will be getting married around the same time of year that J and I got married and we will have to fly to be with them. This trip for their wedding will seriously be the closest thing to a honeymoon that J and I have had to date and I find that super exciting too. We would love to be able to take the kids with us but it would just cost way too much at this point in time. That being said this is also the year we are taking charge of our finances and tightening our purse strings. So with ourselves financially back on track we hope to be able to take them to see more of the world sometime in the near future. This trip will be J's first time on a plane and I am excited about taking him to see Niagara Falls. I am super excited to see beautiful Niagara Falls again but even more excited to see my friend and her home and her wonderful family. Sorry for rambling but I think you get the point - I am excited!

Procrastination!

     So this is why I am here right now, procrastinating! I should be showered and dressed and by now the house should be clean and the laundry should be going and really the list could go on for a while. I would have to say that usually my procrastinating doesn't usually cause any problems but I would have to say that yesterday it didn't go so well for me. I was enjoying the quiet as the little girl I watch was taking a nap and thinking well I guess I really should get something done around here before J gets home at 2pm for his short afternoon break. So I decided to finish with the rearranging of our living room. The TV stand had already been moved and I just had to put everything back on the shelves and the TV back on the stand. Really something that I do often enough but a lot less often since my new TV stand is so large and heavy. Anyway everything was coming along nicely until I turned and bumped the VCR which then bumped the TV. I almost had a heart attack but the TV looked alright so I finished setting everything up and decided to watch a show while I folded the laundry (which I had also put on my procrastination list). So I turned on the TV and then I went into shock because indeed I had broken J's TV that he had worked so hard to get (since it was purchased mostly with his winnings from The Biggest Loser Competition). So anyway I shut the TV, with it's pretty little star burst in the bottom right corner, off and sat for a few moments to google and see if there was any possible way to fix it which apparently there isn't, short of paying crazy repair prices or buying a new one. So I sent off a message to a friend saying good-bye since I figured J would most likely kill me when he got home and then I cleaned up a little more because well the maybe the mess would still be there tomorrow but maybe I wouldn't be. So I was working on the dishes waiting  for J to come home to give him the awful news and dreading doing so at the same time. I finished up the dishes just as J got home and we chatted a little bit about how our days had been so far and I told him that as bad as someones day had been, I was sorry that I was about to give him news that would make his immensely worse. I started bawling and sputtered out that I had broken his TV. He took it well. I guess he was worried I was going to tell him someone else had passed away and I said well his TV had kind of died a little but that if someone had passed on I would not have told him that way. Oh well he still loves me and the TV still technically works although it doesn't look near as pretty as it did a couple days ago but life could be worse. We are all in good health and we have a house that is messy but that means we have a house and stuff to mess it up. We are blessed and I am lucky to be blessed with a forgiving husband. Really it wasn't the procrastinating that broke anything it was just an accident but maybe one day I will learn to procrastinate less but ... probably not. On a lighter note Congrats to my cousin on the arrival of his little girl. Can't wait to meet her :)

Seriously?

     So 2012 seriously? We didn't even make it a week into the New Year and already we have lost someone special. So very sad today to hear of the passing of my cousins husband. When I was little I loved going and staying at their house because it was always so much fun there.  He was an awesome person and great fun to spend time with. I am so sad and my heart breaks for all my family that is missing him immensely. Maybe if the year starts off hard that means it can only get better but...

Happy New Year?

     It has been a little while since I last posted so Christmas has come and gone and the New Year has been rung in. Christmas went well and was spent with good people. The kids were happy with their gifts and I think it is safe to say we all felt spoiled. Things never seem to go as planned though and because of this I have 3 dozen eggs left in my fridge but overall everything still went well. I got to spend Christmas day with some of J's family and most of my family so it was nice. Boxing Day though uuugghhh seriously what a waste. It would be nice if someone would listen to me the next time I say it would be nice to skip the craziness that is Boxing Day sales and just stay home and enjoy all that we already have. Hopefully next Boxing Day will be a nice and quiet day with time to visit, relax and enjoy!
     Good bye 2011! You were not the nicest to our family and I am happy to see you go! This doesn't mean that nothing good came from you but you were definitely hard on our family. To be honest I am not feeling the positivity that J is trying to ring in the New Year with. 2010 and 2011 were hard on us and our families suffered some huge losses. I am fearful that 2012 will bring more of the same. I still haven't come to terms with the most recent loss and I just hope that we don't lose anyone this year. I hope everyone we care about will have a healthy year and that things go smoothly for our family. Last year we struggled in many ways. One of our biggest struggles was trying to get our finances back on track. This year is the year! This WILL happen. We have a plan and are putting it in place and taking action. That feels good. I think if I were to make a New Years Resolution - it would be to become financially stable and establish a decent savings. This goal that seemed so far out of reach at this time last year is now looking like an easy goal to achieve. I will try to be more positive than negative this year and though I have fear, I am still able to be hopeful that good things will come of 2012. Topping the list of good things to come are 2 new babies in the family. One on my side and one on J's side. Babies are always nice to have around. I am also hoping to blog a little more in 2012. I am not going to commit to everyday but maybe I will try for once a week. May 2012 bring you all that you hope for and may the good things out number the bad. Cheers to you all!