November feels like it has been a particularly trying month for me. So much stuff has happened this month. It feels like there has been a lot of emotional turmoil mashed in with all the regular sort of stresses that go on with a regular sort of life. As November finally comes to a close some of the turmoil has been figured out and resolved and some continues along the same path and I am still struggling with it but it will come with time. What I do know for certain is that I am a good person and I am secure in who I am. If you keep treating me like I am only good enough for you some of the time then that just means one of these days when you think you need me I may not be there anymore. I love with all my heart and being made to feel like I am not good enough is hurtful and unacceptable.
Okay onto the upcoming positives: I am looking forward to Christmas and having people over. Very excited for J's family to come and spend Christmas with us! I am hoping December doesn't feel too crazy this year. Usually so many things get planned it feels like there is not enough time to do it all but I really enjoy seeing everyone I care about in the festive spirit. I think I blew our budget this month (not very positive lol) buying presents but I am close to done (positive) so that is nice and I am sure that our budget will be back on track very soon.
November was a super crappy month for us as well. In fact, I don't have much good to say about 2011 at all. I am looking forward to 2012 in the hopes that its a much better year for us. And in retrospect I guess I should be thankful right now...it could be worse. Sammy's arm could still be having problems healing, and J could have had some serious issues with his head injury. But still, it sucks just the same. Does that make me horrible and unappreciative? Sigh. I hope not.
ReplyDeleteLots of love and hugs babe <3.
I would have to agree that 2011 has definitely been a tough year for many people I know. You are right and things could be worse and I am grateful that they are not worse too. I do not think you are horrible or unappreciative. I think you are just like everyone else and would like things to seem a bit easier for once. Guess we just get these years with struggles so that we can better appreciate the easier years.
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